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How Social Media Platforms Are Changing the Way We Connect

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How social media platforms are changing the way we connect is honestly messing with my head lately. I’m sitting here in my apartment kitchen at like 11:47 pm, fridge humming, streetlight coming through the blinds making stripes on the table, and I’m just staring at Instagram stories of people I kinda know having way better nights than me. It’s weird because five minutes ago I felt kinda connected watching my cousin’s baby take her first steps in a reel, but now I’m just… empty? Like the connection was there for a second and then poof.

I used to think social media platforms were just tools, you know? Like a fancier phonebook. But nah, they’re straight-up rewiring how I talk to people. I texted my best friend from high school the other day — first real convo in maybe 18 months — and it felt awkward as hell because we’ve both been liking each other’s posts silently for years. We already “knew” what the other was up to. So what do you even say after that?

Anyway sorry I ramble. Point is how social media platforms are changing the way we connect is real and it’s messy and sometimes I hate it and sometimes I need it.

Chaotic family group chat with repeated forwards and emojis
Chaotic family group chat with repeated forwards and emojis

The Family Group Chat That Feels Like a Second Home (and a Second Job)

My mom’s in three different family WhatsApp groups and somehow every single one has 400+ unread messages by breakfast. How social media platforms are changing the way we connect shows up clearest in those groups. On one hand I love it — I saw my nephew lose his first tooth via video before my sister even called to tell me. That’s insane in a good way.

But also… my uncle sends the same “good morning” flower picture with Minion quote every single day at 6:03 AM. Every. Day. And my aunt replies “😂😂 beautiful” to literally everything, even when someone shares a funeral notice. I don’t know how to feel about that.

Last Christmas we did a virtual gift-opening thing on Zoom because half the family is spread across states now. It was sweet until my connection lagged and I froze mid-laugh with wrapping paper on my head. Everyone screenshotted it. Now it’s a reaction image in the group. Thanks social media platforms, really appreciate how you’re changing connections into permanent cringe archives.

Still though — without these apps I’d probably talk to my family maybe twice a year. So yeah. Grateful. Annoyed. Both.

When “Friends” Stop Feeling Like Friends

Here’s the ugly part I don’t like admitting: how social media platforms are changing the way we connect sometimes makes me feel more alone than being actually alone.

I have 812 Facebook friends. I could probably name maybe 40 without looking. The rest are people from jobs I don’t have anymore, one-time Tinder dates, that guy from summer camp in 2007. We all still watch each other’s lives like low-budget reality TV. I know when my old roommate got engaged before he told me himself — saw it in stories. Didn’t even text congrats because… what would I say? “Saw your ring on Instagram, nice”?

One time I posted about being really down after a breakup. Got like 60 “you’re so strong ❤️” comments. Felt worse. Everyone saw but nobody called. That’s how social media platforms are changing the way we connect — broadcast intimacy without the follow-through.

Tired reflection in dark laptop during late-night scroll
Tired reflection in dark laptop during late-night scroll

Okay But Some Good Shit Actually Happens Too

Not gonna lie and say it’s all bad. Last month I joined this random Discord for people who restore old Game Boys and now I have like three guys who text me pics of their progress at 2 a.m. We talk capacitors and screen replacements more than I talk to my actual neighbors. That’s connection I wouldn’t have otherwise.

Also found a support group on Reddit during a really dark few months. People there got it in ways my real-life friends couldn’t. No judgment, just “yeah me too.” How social media platforms are changing the way we connect can be lifesaving when you’re too embarrassed to say shit out loud in person.

So Where Does That Leave Us?

I don’t have answers. I’m just some guy in sweatpants typing this while my phone keeps lighting up with notifications I mostly ignore now. How social media platforms are changing the way we connect is happening whether we like it or not — faster, wider, shallower, sometimes deeper, mostly weirder.

My only rule these days is: if I wouldn’t say it to someone’s face, I try not to type it either. And I force myself to call people instead of just reacting 😂. Small things. But it helps.

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/05/social-media-negative-effects-worse-than-thought/673947

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